Don’t Accept Negative Behaviours From Others
All of us have some problems in our lives, but the last thing we need to do is hide from them. It seems like a good idea at the time – or at least it seems like the easiest thing to do. But the one certain thing in this situation is that hiding from the problem will mean that it comes back again and again, often worse the next time. Tackling problems head-on can be tricky – emotionally it is testing and this makes focusing difficult. It can be hard to find the inner strength – and all the more so when the problem is with another person. Tackling a problem with a friend or a family member – or any other individual – complicates the issue.
When another person is posing a problem for you it can be tempting to get angry behind their back, and when you are speaking to the responsible person act as if nothing is the matter. The nature of the problem can be anything. If they are a housemate, for example, and never do their part of the work around the house, this can make for a serious problem in dealing with them. If they are wonderful to live with in any other way – funny, supportive and good to talk to – then there may be a fear at the back of your mind. If you confront them over their lack of consideration around the house, will they stop being so much fun to be around? Probably not. Can you take that chance? Well, you probably should. Chances are they just don’t realize how important it is that they get involved.
Other problems can be considerably trickier to deal with, however. If someone is actively abusive – in a physical or emotional way – then confronting them about their behaviour is inevitably going to be a great deal more stressful. Maybe they are behaving this way as a result of some past experience that they have had, but their behaviour is still flat-out wrong. It’s obviously not that straightforward, though – if they are already being abusive in some way, how do you stop them from stepping up that behaviour if they do not like what you have to say to them? You may need support to do this – but seeking or accepting that support is not a sign of weakness.
When it comes down to it, negative behaviour from someone in your life can make your life a lot more stressful and make you depressed. The knock-on effects of this are harder for you, and harder for everyone. If the person concerned really does not know their behaviour is affecting you in a negative way they will not be angry at you for bringing it up, but pleased that you came to them with it and happy to have the chance to alleviate a problem for you. The only way you can get past a problem with someone else is to approach it realistically and sensibly, and it is something that you will look back on with relief rather than anxiety.
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